Category: Building an Online Business
Find The Bright Spots of Your Business
I’ve just finished reading Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard, and there’s one point in particular that resonated with me throughout.
If a task is too daunting, or your goals too distant, search for the bright spots and focus on what’s already working.
This is a simple but powerful concept of great significance to Internet Marketers. We are notorious multi-taskers. Our greatest fault is traditionally that we spread ourselves too thin and don’t see projects through to their conclusions.
Think of an SEO project as an example. In your head, you have a starting point – it might be the Google Keyword planner, or an exciting new niche you’ve heard about. And similarly, you have a final destination – typically a highly trafficked, super profitable web property that earns money while you sleep.
The hard part is travelling the road that connects those two destinations. More specifically, it’s the feeling of “What in the hell am I supposed to do now that I’ve launched this shit and I’m sick to death of it?”
Somewhere between defining our vision, and reaping the rewards of its fruition, we face problems; twists and turns that deter us from completing the project. The middle part – the long open road – is always the hardest.
To use the SEO project example, our open road might involve endless backlink building, content creation and keyword tracking. Much of this is laced with dead-ends and hours spent unproductively. The only way to finish these projects, to realise our vision, is to keep searching for the bright spots.
Ask yourself, “What is working? How can I build on it?”
Maybe one of the pages on your site is whoring the majority of the traffic. In which case, can you isolate the variables that are fuelling its popularity? Is it being shared socially? Why is it being shared socially? How can you create more content that ticks the same boxes?
This flexible mindset of learning on the road is vital if you’re going to connect your launch foundations with the end vision of a prosperous money machine.
A fixed mindset rarely ever works in business, and certainly not where SEO is concerned. We are much more successful when we pinpoint the areas that are bringing us the most success, and adapt our work going forward.
This is a fault that has troubled me no end in the past. I have a habit of being too concrete with my processes, and not allowing user feedback or valuable data to manifest itself and shape a more productive strategy going forward. I’m a pretty stubborn bastard, and it’s probably cost me a lot of money.
Switch certainly struck a chord with my stubborn side. I’ve started to re-evaluate my career objectives and match them up to the bright spots of my current business model. It’s resulted in me culling two entire dedicated servers and dropping about 20 domains, but I’m pretty sure I’ve made the right decision going forward.
If you feel like your wheels are spinning in the tracks, and you can’t seem to inch closer to your defining vision, the easiest and most damaging attitude is to focus at what you’re doing wrong. It’s much more productive to find the bright spots and use them as a guiding light. Hinge your business around what’s already working. Focus on your strengths.
I really enjoyed the first half of Switch. It packs in a lot of useful actionable advice that I haven’t read in any other change bible (and I’ve read my fair share). The book loses its focus around the halfway point and descends in to more of a tribute towards the authors’ favourite social psychologists, which might go unnoticed and appreciated by some, but for others will feel like a Robert Cialdini overdose. Still, a recommended read.
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Dear Internet, Print Me Some Money
Internet Marketing is littered with enough false promises to make your eyes water. Ever since the turn of the millennium when Internet stocks created fortunes and lost them twice as fast, our industry has been riddled with high expectations, a circumspect grounding in reality, and far too much bullshit to keep a tab on.
My work has revolved around the Internet for my entire professional career. I advanced from designing websites, to assembling the code behind them, to selling ad space on them. Along the way, I’ve developed a keen eye for spotting opportunities on other websites. From primitive arbitrage, to site flipping opportunities, to abusing loopholes in ways that the webmaster never intended.
I’ve seen many moneymaking strategies crash and burn, whilst others have evolved with time. SEO, for example, requires a conservative and professional approach in 2012, with an ever-increasing number of bullets to dodge. It used to be easy. Why? Because nobody else was doing it.
Fast forward to 2008. Affiliate marketing had become perhaps the greatest wealth generator for idiots the digital landscape has ever known. Life was so simple. Find an offer to promote, upload an ad to Facebook, wait for approval, and bank the rich returns. Inevitably, the rest of the world caught on. And here we are now. Prices have never been higher, and so the degree of creativity necessary to succeed has risen. Thousands of novices want to become affiliate marketers, and yet the task gets harder with every passing day. They’re 4 years late to the party.
Affiliate marketers who made their millions in the big boom have been fast-tracked as experts on a subject that has detoured dramatically from its original path. Novices may look up to those experts, but the painted picture from the top is rarely anything but smoke and mirrors.
Nature has a time-honoured method of punishing good moneymaking strategies once they reach the public domain. If the strategy becomes common knowledge, or too exposed to unskilled buffoons, any benefit to be gained from the opportunity is lost. Of course, the strategy lives on in the imagination of the baying crowd. Many will happily pay to hear about the next magic button, the next get rich quick scheme, blissfully ignorant to the reality. As soon as lucrative information becomes public knowledge, it loses its value.
As an Internet Marketer, I see this happening time and time again. Legitimate moneymaking opportunities are born, profited from, and then swiftly rendered useless as a ‘guru’ leaks the techniques to the masses.
These gurus are rarely true exponents of the techniques they talk about. They are poorly skilled at making money with genuine enterprise, so they choose to sell the concept instead. Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach. Their decision to teach ruins the opportunity for the true exponents, and it creates a glorious pipe dream for everybody else. Market law dictates that when a lucrative strategy becomes too easy and too popular, it fails.
In the stock market, wise investors know that a bull market is riddled with danger when Average Joe can be seen throwing his money at it – especially if he’s offering the same ‘hot tips’ to his neighbours and friends.
The same applies to just about every ‘easy’ strategy in Internet Marketing. Unless you’re the innovator, the strategy is guaranteed to be anything but easy by the time you’ve read about it in a PDF.
99% of information products are bullshit on this basis. The grander the promises, the further detached from reality they become.
One of the golden rules you have to ask before considering any information product is simply, “Why is the author giving this information away?”
The bizopp market is constructed around some of the most illogical consumer decisions of all time.
If you honestly believe that a multi-millionaire is going to give you access to the blueprints of his success for $19.95, you’ve lost your bloody marbles. Why do people not ask “Why?”
1. Why would a millionaire need to sell his blueprints?
2. How effective can those blueprints be if they’re on sale for $19.95?
3. If he really wanted to give back to help others, why charge at all?
Honestly, there are no exceptions. You will not find a single moneymaking strategy in the world that ticks all three boxes of easy, sustainable and profitable.
There are easy and profitable strategies… but they don’t last, and often require leaving your integrity at the door. If you’re an affiliate marketer, slinging acai berries to half of America was easy and profitable. But sustainable? Not with an FTC lawsuit wedged firmly up your arse.
Likewise, you’ll find plenty of easy and sustainable strategies… although I haven’t yet seen one that made anybody rich. Extreme couponing is an easy and sustainable strategy, but only if you value your time at close to nothing. Maybe a nuclear blast will bring profitability to your giant stash of Frosted Flakes, but failing that; good luck.
And then there’s the smart choice: profitable and sustainable strategies… the blueprint of all great businesses. Average Joe might not like to hear it, sitting at home in his underpants with $19.95 to invest, but these strategies are several galaxies detached from being easy. They require the creation of real-world value. And there you’ll find the only blueprint of wealth generation with a proven track record: adding value to the world.
If you can’t create value for somebody, somewhere; you don’t deserve your early retirement. That’s a contrasting view with the many ‘magic button’ infomercials; those that prosper when your sense of entitlement grows. They insist that success is your God given right; that the world is doing you wrong if it fails to deliver a Pina Colada on a crystal sandy beach.
Whatever your personal beliefs, or your own sense of entitlement, the market will not change. Anything that you can buy for $19.95 is readily available for the rest of the world to buy too. If you intend to become richer than the market average, you have to do more with the information than most of your neighbours and friends. Or better yet, blaze a completely new trail for others to copy.
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Building Backlinks: The Fastlane To Insanity
This weekend, I decided to engage in some research that never fails to get my blood boiling. What better way to spend your Sunday afternoon than by crawling the web making notes on how to boss Google’s search rankings?
SEO is to Finch, what the slaughterhouse is to cows.
It’s where I go when I feel like throwing my business plans before the judge and pleading for a stay of execution. “Dear Google, please take pity upon thee.”
So I loaded up on Victoria Sandwich, pointed my browser at Yahoo Site Explorer, and prepared mentally for the skullbreakingly arduous task of analysing my competitors’ backlink structures.
As it so happens, Yahoo Site Explorer is now defunct. My childhood sweetheart, the only SEO tool I ever truly loved, has been married by Bing and shepherded away – presumably to be shagged and ruined in some Microsoft developer’s basement. This has driven yet another wedge in my already unstable relationship with SEO.
Backlink research is touted as a ‘must’ before venturing in to new niches. Nobody wants to build a potentially lucrative website only to find that Joe Marketer has already pummeled Xrumer and assembled his gajillions of links to maintain search engine dominance through 2017. But there’s the paradox. Even though I make the effort to do backlink research, it rarely ever affects my decision to go ahead with a project.
“Wow, the competition has 3,990,374 backlinks. That’s pretty impressive. But I don’t like his choice of stock photos. I’ll build my site anyway.”
Ego often impedes the voice of SEO reasoning in my head. I hate the idea that success hinges on some bullshit measurement of who has the best/most backlinks. That’s why you’ll find me feeding buckets of fish laced with steroids to Google’s Panda in the middle of the night, then running away like a little girl as the ‘SEO Professionals’ come charging in disgust.
The whore charade makes me wonder if offline business ever used to be this way. If you took the regional equivalent of today’s Google, let’s say a local business directory, would it have been ranked and prioritised in the same manner? Are you telling me that to get my business spotlighted on a good page, I would have to cruise every last dark corner of the neighbourhood posting my business card through abandoned letterboxes?
Because that’s essentially what backlink building is. It’s handing your business card to anybody who will accept it, in the faint hope that a chief regulator, aka Mr. Google, notices the card in abundance and is mathematically satisfied that you’re worth half a shit.
No doubt this analogy would provoke an uproar from the local directory ranking experts. They would tell me quite bluntly that I’m wasting my time whoring business cards in the ghettos. They’d insist, “No, no. You need to get your business card adorning the windows of the palaces and castles!”
So, I’d work hard and mingle in those upper class circles. I’d send letters and scratch backs. My culture vulture would be well and truly on. But invariably, I’d discover that the owners of the palaces and castles aren’t interested in my business cards. Their interest extends only as far as their own financial gain.
Believe it or not, these Princes and Kings don’t classify what you promise to be “relevant content for their kingdoms” as fitting for their cause. Cruelly, they would rather engage in a furious 24/7 circle jerk behind closed doors than deal with the ignominy of your fresh arse on the block. So, what are you to do? You get on your bike, retreat to the neighbourhood, and blast your business card through 3,990,374 derelict letterboxes instead. Fan-tastic.
My conclusion? The backlink building game is fundamentally shagged. Don’t waste your time building backlinks. Just build a reputation for awesomeness instead.
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How The 80/20 Rule Applies To You
It’s not rare to find that 80% of your sales are generated by 20% of your customers, or that 80% of your time is spent handling 20% of your chores.
This skewed outlook on life and business was first observed by the great Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto, who lent his name to the theory.
Pareto established, in the early twentieth century, that 80% of Italian land was owned by just 20% of the population. He later famously observed that 80% of the peas in his garden came from 20% of the pods. Spurred on by the unusual correlation, his work continued and the Pareto Principle became lodged not just in economic folklore, but in business minds alike.
By running a business that is effectively a one man show, I have become a great believer in the Pareto Principle.
I’m convinced it can be applied to productivity. The principle is a great marker for ensuring I don’t become bogged down in tasks that waste my limited time.
I don’t think I’m alone in confessing that when I look at my to-do list, I can easily find tasks that satisfy my need to appear busy; tasks that contribute very little to my bottom line.
As an Internet Marketer, I often find myself profiting from one particularly lucrative advertising campaign. On a good day, it makes my other efforts look like a complete waste of time. If the lucrative campaign earns more than the rest of my work combined, why would I insist on wasting 80% of my time chasing those dead ends?
Probably because seeing the skewed reality is one thing. Acting on it is completely another.
The desire to appear busy is something that has been ingrained in us since childhood. Can you imagine the uproar at school had you refused to go to 80% of your classes? Or the backlash from your employer if you only worked 2 hours of your contracted 8?
Where our productivity is concerned, we are highly trained animals. To stay busy is better than to look lazy, even if the results are not always as we’d expect in doing so.
Sometimes it’s a welcome relief to step back and analyse where your success is coming from. What work is bringing in the bacon? Which tasks are you splurging blood, sweat and tears over for little reward?
These may seem like stupid questions. But I believe there’s much more potential in becoming a specialist, somebody who plays to his strengths, than a jack of all trades who couldn’t see his skill-set if it slapped him in the tits.
Recommended This Week:
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Check out Filthy Rich Mind, a brand new project I’m collaborating on with a couple of other writers in the self-improvement market. It’s a fun project so if you like off-the-wall advice for improving your lifestyle, subscribe here for updates.
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Hire Good Cheap Workers With EasyOutsource
Outsourcing to India is no longer as cheap as it used to be. The race to the bottom of bargain basement prices for skilled workers has shifted in a different direction, a little further east to be exact.
If you’re constantly on the hunt for cheap labour, you’ve probably already heard that Filipinos are doing it cheaper, and doing it better. Well, certainly if you’ve spoken to enough Filipinos.
I am a firm believer in outsource arbitrage. If somebody abroad is willing to do work cheaply and to a high standard, I have no problems in taking business away from my own country. This has become widespread not just on a small business level, but in worldwide corporations that are desperate to maximise profits.
In an economic sense, it’s a disaster. How can America and the UK continue to thrive if jobs are being sent off-shore? We hear a lot of media scaremongering about jobs not being created but everybody knows, this is bullshit. Jobs are being created. They’re just being filled with cheaper labour from a warmer climate. It’s tough to envision a situation where that trend will be reversed.
So it’s on that basis that I recommend EasyOutsource as a good stomping ground for those looking to hire labour without paying the premium.
EasyOutsource was recommended to me by a friend when I asked him who had been responsible for the swish custom coding job behind one of his sites. I was pretty stunned when he told me the wages he was paying his staff, and it was much more competitive than the rates you typically see on Elance and oDesk.
EasyOutsource is free to use, and is essentially no more than a portal bringing buyers and service providers together. There are zero hoops to jump through. Just register a profile and post a job, or cruise through the profiles of workers and message them directly if you so wish.
It’s very easy, though I can understand why serious project managers would have apprehension about dealing with workers in such an uncontrolled marketplace.
I say this time and time again, but it never loses relevance. Outsourcing is an art. You cannot expect to simply bagsy a foreign worker, throw them a brief and expect it delivered to spec without any hiccups along the way. This applies to EasyOutsource and every other freelancing site on the planet.
You really need to spend time weeding out the pretenders from the legitimate workers who can add to your business. Get them on Skype and ask to speak directly to the individuals who will be responsible for the work.
I once took on a highly skilled University graduate who wrote like a fluent subcontinental Shakespeare in her briefing. I was impressed, almost shamed by her writing. But that means very little if she delegates the actual work to her bumbling school children and their shaky grasp of ‘Indlish‘. Which is exactly what she did.
Also beware of the super talented programmers who tell you they’re capable of working full-time, but take 2 days to reply to the shortest email. (ie. “Hello, are you working, you cheeky little shit?“)
Outsourcing effectively is a skilled art. Outsourcing unwisely is a waste of time, energy and subsequently your will to live. If you’re going to do it, put some thought in to it.
Recommended This Week:
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If you’re looking for a more professional outsourcing solution, definitely take a look at Pepper Virtual Assistants. They were featured on ProBlogger last week and stand out as reliable, if slightly pricier, proposition.
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How To Increase Traffic When Your Site Hits The Plateau
Every website has a plateau which marks the growth of traffic up to a point of diminishing returns.
The plateau is like a glass ceiling. It can be so difficult to crack, and often causes a loss in motivation when your project stalls and loses momentum for apparently no reason. It’s even more frustrating when you increase your workload and still can’t see the desired improvements.
This post is about conquering the plateau, switching gears and blasting your website to the next level. I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that it’s the hardest challenge for any webmaster to overcome.
Your patience will be tested, and your hairline will surely recede. Your dinners will disappear in the space of 4 minutes and your children will begin to refer to you as “that angry man” who lives in the basement. Will it be worth the struggle? The struggle is what we live for!
Let’s take a look at some tips and techniques for taking that next step.
Step out of your comfort zone.
The growth plateau is very closely tied to our personal comfort zones. What are we willing to write about? What are we willing to do to attract publicity? How many backs will we scratch to get that invaluable mention?
I believe that many stalling projects can be attributed to losing your nerve and not fully committing to a vision of success. Maybe you want to become the Internet’s next life coach? This isn’t possible if you live in a shell, blogging fictional stories and avoiding the hazard of actually getting out there and talking to people.
Behind most successful websites, you will find fiercely driven owners who realised the importance of exiting their comfort zones and making themselves heard in their respective markets. If you never volunteer for interviews, never offer to write guest posts, and never spend time looking straight in to the eyes of your peers, how can you expect to earn their sweeping respect?
Whatever comfort zone you have erected is usually built on foundations of fear. Overcome that fear and put your content and voice where it is likely to be judged.
100% praise for your website means you’re not taking enough risks.
Mimic existing blueprints for success.
The fact that you’re reading this post shows that you believe there is somebody out there doing your job better than you. Hey, it might not be me, but I’m sure there’s somebody out there you would interrogate for a winning formula if you had half the chance. This is a healthy attitude to have.
Mimicking the success of your industry’s leaders is the safe way of guaranteeing growth, but are you doing it correctly?
When you analyse your superior competition, what is it that you’re attempting to steal from them? If it’s their mission statement and not their blood, sweat and tears then you’re trying to ride a unicorn to the bank. I see it all the time. Webmasters trying to explode traffic by duping the intention and sentiment, but completely misjudging the application. Look at your superiors not for their success, but for the foundations that success is built on.
How often do they update their sites? How active are they in the comments? What forums do they post on? What social networks do they utilise? How can you replicate their backlink profiles? Who do they outsource to? What plugins and incentives do they run? What type of coffee do they drink?
Duplicate the entire work flow! Don’t just publish similar content and hope it enjoys the same success. You’re dealing with finely tuned and well-oiled profit machines. What you see on the homepage is just an afterthought.
Invest in brandable assets.
When you become as big as Facebook or Google, you don’t try to be the best at everything. You simply stick to your strengths and invest in the best that other people can muster. MySpace went down the shitter because it internalised every aspect of it’s business and was left with a half-baked final product.
So learn from Facebook and Google. Look to invest in high quality websites, scripts and services that could be integrated with your own product. I have purchased websites on Flippa with the sole purpose of re-branding them under my own site and merging the traffic. It costs money, but it provides instant momentum and growth.
Demand attention by stroking the ego.
I can’t think of a better example of innovative linkbuilding than Dukeo’s “Who is…” series using caricatures as the bait to get high profile bloggers to take notice.
I didn’t know too much about Dukeo until I received a link to a post that had my name in the title. There I saw myself depicted in caricature form (incredibly accurately), along with a lengthy biography detailing my background in the industry.
The biography alone would normally be enough to get a link. But the caricature, excellent as it was, meant that I had all the more reason to link to his site and to really force my readers over there. Take a look for yourself.
I was even more impressed when I discovered that the caricatures were not actually drawn by Sté, the owner, but by a hired artist.
It shows how taking a little initiative can really produce something memorable and effective if you think outside the box. Even if, like Finch, your own drawings look like arse.
Check out the weird and wacky jobs on Fiverr to devise a similarly ruthless link building strategy.
Adapt to new forms of media.
Webmasters often forget that audio and video content can open up a whole new realm of possibilities for generating traffic.
Again, it comes back to stepping out of your comfort zone. Are there parts of your website that could be adapted and re-issued in video or audio form? Maybe as podcasts, YouTube videos or even a mobile application? Not only will doing so reach new corners of the market, but it will open up valuable new income streams.
Wake up and smell the coffee. It’s 2011 and the traditional ‘words on a page’ approach is just one form of media.
Sharpen your prose.
I believe far too many bloggers sit on the fence when they would enjoy much more success by committing to an opinion and lighting a fire under it.
Read through your posts. Does it sound like the author believes in them? You will find people are much more happy to link to you if you’ve taken a stand, in a big way, and your thoughts reflect their own. This is often the intention, but it can fall apart if your writing isn’t sharp enough. Become a sharp opinionated writer who doesn’t understand the meaning of neutral vocabulary.
Being in the Internet Marketing industry is a big help. We are blessed with enough pantomime villains, who legitimately don’t know shit about their craft, to chug out a giant scathing FU every day for the rest of our lives.
Give your visitors a hero to believe in.
So here’s a quick tip. People buy in to personalities.
Imagine yourself inside your reader’s head. What do they aspire to become? What are their fiercest dreams and ambitions? Now look at your site. Are you positioning yourself as the man who controls the gateway to that lucrative future?
If you can position yourself as simply one step closer to the dream lifestyle that your readers are desperate to attain, you will find yourself in a position of power and influence. Wedge yourself where the dreaming ends and the glamour begins. Traffic will surely follow.
I’ve already written a meandering piece on this very subject called how to brand yourself and your blog. Go take a peek.
How To Increase Traffic: Some final tips
Spend some money on paid ad campaigns. I know how much a jolly webmaster hates to spend money on exposure when there are 101 free methods of generating traffic!!1! but you get what you pay for. And in many cases, as you can see, that turns out to be fuck all.
Has your design outstayed it’s welcome? The more features you add to your site, the more likely it is that your pages are becoming convoluted and the message is being lost. Often a redesign with prioritised content can fix this problem.
Allow visitors to submit questions. This provides endless new material, adds to your reputation and allows you to create content using exact match phrases that your target market are actively searching for. It’s sensible on every level.
Showcase your best post or feature. Pinpoint similar sites in your industry. Outsource the creation of an effective eye catching banner and then use Google Content Network to advertise your very best post. I always prefer to link to a post or feature rather than the homepage. It provides greater focus and control. Be sure to litter the page with incentives to subscribe!
Scale sideways. The plateau can often be overcome by asking “What else is my target market interested in?“. You don’t want to lose sight of your main demo, but you can collect closely related readers by scaling sideways and bringing your perspective to new topics. This also applies to guest posting.
Spread some rumours. Follow the Z List motto that any publicity is good publicity. Depending on your niche, it may be possible to inject some controversial rumours in to the blogosphere. I don’t know, maybe you’re a Pickup Artist who shagged his way to a broken dick and now hasn’t been seen since entering the Thai Red Light District last Thursday. Stir up some shit, dismiss it, and ride the waves of traffic. Why not apply for the next series of Big Brother? Go on, lose your dignity.
Start attending events. Check the event schedule for your area of expertise, grab yourself some business cards, and go make an impression. Offline marketing is not dead. It just requires a shower and the effort to get off your arse.
Get in to bed with your industry’s curators. Sometimes it pays to be friendly with the right individuals. Adapt a social strategy of reciprocating goodwill shown to you, and actively seeking the goodwill of those who run the rule at the top of your vertical. You might not want to brush shoulders with them, but they can help you get what you want. Traffic, fame and fortune comes at a price!
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- Subscribe to my new FinchBlogs RSS feed. And if you don’t already follow me, add FinchSells to your Twitter. Merci beaucoup!
10 Best Countries To Live In For The Online Professional
One of my targets for the next couple of years is to sample life on every continent in the world, including a (very) brief taster of Antarctica.
I spent the last 8 months living in Bangkok which made a great base to explore South East Asia. Now that I’m back in Europe and the novelty of catching up with friends and family has passed, I’m already daydreaming about new adventures. Guybrush Threepwood eat your heart out, I’m ready to conquer the seas.
Expats regularly discuss the sensation of returning home after an extended period of traveling. It’s a strange feeling.
If you’ve spent your entire lifetime in a single city or state, only to one day decide to go traveling, it’s amazing how so little seems to have changed when you finally return home. The uncertainty and adventure is replaced with familiarity and a grinding restlessness. There must be more to life than life as you know it.
Thailand was my first taste of settling in a foreign country. As much as I enjoyed my time, there are things I would have done differently and efforts I would have made if I could go back and do it again. The temptation, of course, as a guy who makes his money from the Internet, is to do exactly that. Go back and do it all again.
I thought I’d draw up a list of countries I’ve considered moving to, for anybody else out there with the restless desire to travel and dump themselves in to the unknown. Let me know if you have any other destinations that I’ve missed. I’m no expert in the field, just a guy who spends too long pissing around on Wikipedia and Google Images.
The 10 Best Countries To Live In
Argentina – The next country on my hit-list, and regularly touted as the Mecca for expats seeking the best standard of living at the lowest price. Everybody I know who has experienced Argentina, has loved it and wanted to go back for more.
Buenos Aires, the capital and gateway, regularly tops polls as the most popular destination for expats. Simmering subtropical weather, luscious food and a vibrant atmosphere are just a few of the descriptions I hear thrown around. Sounds like the perfect remedy for British autumn and winter.
By all accounts, learning Spanish seems like a pretty good idea before planning a move to Argentina. As I learnt in Thailand, language is often the decisive factor between loving a culture, or respecting it from afar, and between making close friends, or merely lots of smiling acquaintances.
Thailand – I spent 8 months living in Bangkok and it’s pretty hard not to fall in love with the Land of Smiles. Thais are incredibly friendly, gracious and welcoming… even if like me, your control over the native language is somewhat sketchy. Thailand is not as cheap as I was expecting, but considering I wedged myself in a luxury apartment in downtown Bangkok, the standard of living to the dollar was immense.
Certain products are dirt cheap (DVDs, electronics, clothes), but replicating your western way of living will rack up the expenses. It’s a country where immersing yourself in the language will reap the benefits of avoiding a tourist economy. Admittedly, hiring a maid for £80/month to do your grocery shopping is a good alternative.
The economy is corrupt and you will undoubtedly find – for better or worse – that money will buy you just about anything in Thailand. Herpes included, so don’t be a dumbarse!
The many beaches scattered around Thailand are simply out of this world. I’ll have the pure white sand and crystal clear waters burnt in to my retinas for the rest of my time on this planet. Little else can compare.
Canada – A friend of mine is moving to Canada next year. I’ve never been, but I deal with a lot of account managers based in Canada who seem a whole lot more cheerful than their American counterparts – so there must be something uplifting about the world’s second largest country! What really strikes me about Canada is the balance between urban familiarity and untouched natural beauty.
Canada always scores highly on standard of living polls, and it probably helps my attraction that most Canadians I’ve spoken to, I’ve gotten on with very well. Let’s not forget how much easier it is to move there as opposed to the draconian measures necessary to enter the USA without getting your arsehole cross-examined for a visa.
Czech Republic – If you fancy a slice of bohemia, grab a plane to the Czech Republic. Prague has a reputation for offering all the charm of Berlin and Paris at a fraction of the cost. It’s one of the cheapest places to settle in Europe, and rapidly becoming one of the most popular. Known as the City of a Hundred Spires, you’ll find history dripping from every street. Students and tourists flock here, along with a growing number of expats.
I have to stress that for anybody visiting Europe from afar, prices are not cheap across the continent. The further north you go, the deeper in to your wallet you can expect to reach. The Czech Republic has the benefit of being nicely located if you want to jump on a train and see the rest of Europe. Small countries, huge diversity…one of the great attractions of moving to this part of the world.
New Zealand – My reasons for moving to New Zealand hinge on the fact that it looks fucking awesome. There’s not much more to it. New Zealand is a hot destination for students here in the UK, which probably has something to do with it being the adrenaline junkie’s capital of the world. My friends who’ve travelled there tell me that Wellington and Christchurch are better choices than Auckland for settling down. But the country seems to attract expats all over.
The cost of living is rising in New Zealand, but unlike many other popular expat spots, moving here requires very little adjustment. The language is the same, the people are friendly and there’s already a strong presence of other nationalities. New Zealand and Australia are seen as the traditional landing ports for pissed off Brits seeking a better quality of life.
Costa Rica – In many expat eyes, this is the gem of Central America. Costa Rica is the oldest democracy in Latin America, and generally accepted as the safest country in the region. It’s a peaceful, friendly country with a tropical climate and the kind of scenery that takes your breath away. Volcanoes, rainforests and natural fauna… you name it, Costa Rica has it.
Living in Costa Rica can be very cheap if you limit yourself to the bare essentials. But in keeping with many expat hotspots, you will pay a noticeable premium to retain your western way of living. Expect your diet to improve with a rich invasion of fresh fruit and veg, although I would suspect getting a pizza delivered could be difficult if you choose to immerse yourself in the secluded paradise spots.
Costa Rica has been hit by a swarm of North American expats in recent time, making it proportionately, the most heavily populated country by US citizens outside of America itself. What does this mean? Starbucks…coming to a rainforest near you.
South Africa – A stunning country with the strongest economy in Africa, you probably remember clips of natural sublimity from last years Football World Cup. I’ve always had a soft spot for South Africa, being drawn to the incredible safari experiences that are available throughout the country. Obviously living somewhere is about more than encountering lions in the wild, but some of the landscapes look unmissable to me. When it comes to crossing off Africa from my continents to experience, I’m pretty sure it’ll be here that I decide to base myself.
South Africa comes with a few risks attached. Safety issues on the streets are well documented and there are some places where you simply cannot risk walking around on your own at night. There are plenty of tourist horror stories to shit your pants over but ultimately, being sensible and acknowledging the risks should be enough to avoid them altogether. Housing is cheap, food is priced reasonably, but don’t be fooled in to believing that costs are low across the board in the major cities. One look at the forum posts reveals that they’re not, and they’re rising.
Singapore – Seriously Singaporeans, how do you do it? I only spent 5 days in this buzzing metropolis, and I managed to spunk my way through close to £1000 on some pretty standard expenses. Okay, admittedly, Andrew Wee inflated my bill by coaxing me in to buying a shit ton of imported chocolate on the last night, much of which I ended up eating to be able to get back through customs unscathed. But let me put it out there… Singapore is not cheap.
It’s certainly no retirement destination for the old hack making tuppence on his state pension.
That said, Singapore is spotlessly perfect. It really is one of the tidiest and most attractive looking countries you’re likely to find. This is made much easier by the fact that it’s so small. Imagine Wales, with civilization thrown in for good measure.
If you’re a city dweller who likes to be in the thick of fast moving urban life, Singapore will definitely appeal. It has a thriving economy, excellent infrastructure and the comfort of the English language. Just be prepared to sell multiple body components to pay your rent.
Panama – Were you not paying attention during Prison Break? Panama is the perfect paradise for criminals on the run. So as an affiliate marketer, I should fit in just fine.
Wedged in the heart of Central America, Panama brings the freedom of two different oceans on your doorstep. It’s a destination that is exploding in popularity for the tourism industry. Many Americans and Europeans alike are drawn to the country for the higher standard of living and feisty climate. You should tackle Spanish before committing to a Panama move. Once conquering the language, you’ll find a passionate and friendly population that is known for being very welcoming towards expats.
Crime is always something you want to consider before relocating to this part of the world. Historically, Panama has developed a reputation as one of the safer countries in Central America – if you don’t take up employment in the drugs trade, you should be fine.
I don’t like to get bogged down in what some biddy in her rocking chair misconceives to be a violent nation on the other side of the world (It’s a bit like the argument, “Thailand? Don’t the women there have dicks?“), but I know it’s a sore spot stereotype for many people looking to move.
France – I’ve been told that the south of France would be the perfect match for my personality. Whether there’s any truth to that remains to be seen. I’ve never been. Paris has never appealed to me. Londoners and Parisians couldn’t be further apart, despite their geo proximity. But the south of France looks to be a different story. Glorious food, regular t-shirt weather and a lackadaisical attitude in getting from A to B. On second thoughts… where’s my passport?
So what of London? Having moved back here in July, would I recommend the city to other individuals looking to sample life abroad?
Yes and no.
London is a brilliant place to visit. Full of things to do, sights to see and with the cultural back-catalogue of history nestled in to every bustling corner. The spontaneous individual with a sufficiently fat wallet can never get bored in London.
But as a home, it can be overwhelming and underwhelming in equal measures. I have obvious ties to the city. Most of my friends and family live here. It’s always felt like home to me, but that’s only because I can’t afford to uproot my loved ones and bung them in the back of the plane to be relocated to the destinations above.
I like to mock the state of Britain (and it’s pretty easy given our recent riots), but as far as sense of humour goes, the Brits are the best in the world. No matter where I travel, I always miss the laughs that come with some self-deprecating banter over a beer and a burger.
Of course, Brits are good at traveling – even better at burning themselves to shit in the process – so it’s not hard to track them down abroad. But as the old adage goes, there’s no place like home. Or is there? I want to collect enough passport stamps to see for myself.
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My Experience With Crunch Accounting So Far
The single weakest area of my business prior to joining Crunch Accounting was unquestionably my ability to handle taxes.
If I could show you my hairline before and after tax crept in to my life, you’d appreciate just how integral it’s role has become as the chief tormentor of my business.
There are Republicans in the world who dread tax less than I, and that is saying something. That is really really saying something.
Anyway, political bumberclarting aside, what are the factors that convinced me to invest in an online accounting service?
Lost sleep, notepads full of calculations and four muddled bank accounts – these were just some of the symptoms that finally drove me in to the loving arms of Crunch Accounting. I considered us somewhat of a forced marriage, but one worth consummating for the good of my sanity.
I’ve had the best part of a year to weigh up the benefits of using their service, so here are my two cents for anybody else who is interested.
Note: This is only going to be relevant if you run a business in the UK. Crunch has yet to expand in to Europe or across the pond. Understandable, right? Who would want to vacate the lovely sunny landscapes of East Sussex during a fantastic English summer? Besides fucking everybody, of course…
Crunch is an online accounting service that handles all your paperwork and tax filing. It has a very sleek interface, allowing you to add expenses and invoices on the move. You can get a running total of what you’re due to be raped for in corporate tax, what you can afford to pay yourself in dividends, and all the cretins that currently owe you money.
For a monthly subscription of £70, you can avoid hiring an accountant (who would probably run the risk of contracting Herpes if forced to do the books in your cheesy wotsit contaminated basement/office).
Instead of having that personal accountant, Crunch supplies you with a qualified account manager who you can call, email or badger over Skype.
You may have to book in an appointment first, but hey, it’s probably more reliable than calling a part-time accountant. You know you’re not going to end up redirected to voicemail while the bastard enjoys his impromptu two week vacation in the Bahamas. Oh that vacation, the one he didn’t tell you about.
It took me several days to transition my accounts to Crunch’s system. If you’re firing your accountant during the middle of the year (always better to be an arsehole before Christmas), expect to spend a good few days loading invoices and expenses in to the system.
Crunch glosses over the process and makes the system as user-friendly as can be, but let’s face it, this shit is never going to be Friday night entertainment. Adding expenses is a pleasantly brainless experience, and that’s exactly how I like my accounting to be.
You can reconcile accounts automatically by feeding a spreadsheet of your bank statement and letting Crunch go fishing for correct matches. This thought would usually fill me with dread. The last thing I want is for some crazed machine to start reconciling thousands of payments with 85% accuracy, but it seems to be effective.
I personally have to reconcile statements manually because my bank (If you can honestly call yourself a bank, Santander) is a cock.
All in all, Crunch has gone to painstaking measures to ensure the online software is user-friendly, intuitive and easy for a tax-hater like me to get to grips with.
So what would I like to see improved?
The single biggest beef I have with Crunch is their non-support for foreign currency invoicing. It’s possible (and convenient) to invoice companies in Sterling from within the control panel, but the system will have a bitch fit if you dare to bill companies in anything other than GBP.
That’s bloody inconvenient for me, given how a large number of my invoices are actually in USD or Euros. However, you can work around the kinks by entering a quick invoice in GBP after the hard copy has been processed by your bank. It’s not a perfect solution but it will do for now. I hope you’re listening, Crunch!
A year in to our relationship together, and I would have to say, the marriage is still going strong.
Crunch has saved me a lot of time, not to mention the sleepless nights, by simply providing a qualified barrier between myself and the dreaded tax man.
They deal with my paperwork. I deal with the playfully coloured forms and buttons. This is how business should be.
You… smart. Me… colourful buttons.
I think we’re gonna do just fine together.
Click here if you want to try Crunch Accounting for yourself.
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